Feng Shui for Mums: What Your Everyday Words Reveal About Your Life Balance
Your words are more powerful than you think. Learn how 'mum talk' reveals where you're out of balance and how Feng Shui can help you realign.
Are You Parenting with Presence or Pressure?
Discover the 4 Levels of Conscious Parenting
Part 2: The 4 Levels of Consciousness in Parenting
In Part 1 we explored the 4 levels of consciousness that shape how we experience life:
- To Me – Life happens to me
- By Me – Life happens by me
- Through Me – Life flows through me
- As Me – Life is me
These same levels of awareness affect how we parent.
Parenting isn’t just about what you do — it’s about the energy you bring to the relationship.
Your inner world becomes the lens through which you respond (or react), connect, and lead your children.
As parents, we’re constantly moving through these levels — sometimes all in one day! But by becoming more conscious of them, we can better nurture not only our children’s growth, but our own.
Let’s explore how each level shows up in parenting…
1. TO ME
Survival Parenting / Victim State
“Parenting is hard. My kids are exhausting. I can’t cope.”
In this state, parenting feels like something happening to you. It’s reactive, emotionally draining, and often fuelled by guilt, overwhelm, or resentment.
You might:
- Feel triggered easily and yell, then feel ashamed
- Blame your child’s behaviour for your stress
- Feel like you’re constantly failing or not enough
- Struggle to break patterns you grew up with
This level often arises when you’re stretched thin and disconnected from your own needs. You may want to parent differently, but don’t yet have the tools, space, or support.
There is no shame here — this level is deeply human. Awareness is the first step out of it.
Level of Consciousness: VICTIM CONSCIOUSNESS
Gain: RESPONSIBILITY
Let Go of: BLAME
2. BY ME
Empowered Parenting / Intentional State
“I choose how I respond. I can do this differently.”
This is where the conscious parenting journey truly begins. You start to realise: I have a choice. You take responsibility for your own triggers and start breaking cycles rather than repeating them.
You might:
- Set clearer boundaries and model emotional regulation
- Pause then respond instead of reacting
- Get curious about your child’s behaviour instead of taking it personally
- Use tools to support your own nervous system
Here, you’re no longer driven by control or fear — but by presence, growth, and intention. It’s empowering… and it can also feel vulnerable, especially if you didn’t grow up with this style of parenting.
Level of Consciousness: RESPONSIBILITY CONSCIOUSNESS
Gain: SURRENDER
Let Go of: CONTROL
3. THROUGH ME
Soul-Led Parenting / Flow State
“Parenting is an invitation to grow and connect. I trust the process.”
In this level, you see your child not as a project to manage — but as a soul on their own journey. You begin to parent less from scripts, and more from intuition.
You might:
- Trust your instincts more than external advice
- Honour your child’s emotions as valid, without needing to fix or rush them
- View conflict as an opportunity to deepen connection
- Let go of the need to “get it right” and instead attune to the moment
Here, parenting becomes more about listening, guiding, and co-creating a safe space — not enforcing or controlling outcomes. There’s more grace, more flow, and more magic.
Level of Consciousness: SURRENDER CONSCIOUSNESS
Gain: ONENESS
Let Go of: SEPARATION
4. AS ME
Unified Parenting - Being State
“There is no separation. My child and I are both expressions of love.”
This is a rare but beautiful state where you experience deep oneness with your child and life itself. You’re not parenting from ego or fear — but from pure presence and love.
You might:
- Feel deeply attuned to your child’s needs without effort
- Offer guidance from a calm, non-attached space
- Sense the sacredness in ordinary moments
- Accept all parts of your child — and yourself — unconditionally
This level isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being — fully, openly, and lovingly present. It’s less about doing parenting and more about embodying love.
Level of Consciousness: ONENESS CONSCIOUSNESS
Conscious Parenting is a Journey, not a Destination
You will move between these levels. There will be moments where you’re calm and connected — and others where you lose your patience and slip into survival mode. That’s normal. That’s human.
But each time you become aware, reflect, and choose a more aligned response, you’re shifting the energy. You’re rewriting generational patterns. You’re showing your child what growth and compassion look like — not perfection.
Reflective Points for You
- Which level do you find yourself in most often these days?
- When do you feel most connected to your child?
- What support or self-care might help you shift from reactivity to presence?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read our latest blog. We hope that it gives you the knowledge you need to continue to make positive change in your little ones’ world.
Please share this if you feel that it would help someone you know.
Love & blessings,
Lauren xo
Hi, I’m Lauren. A conscious, Libran solo Mumma of two blessings, a son and daughter. I’m all about using Holistic Feng Shui & natural solutions to find a balance. I’m passionate about self-care and wellbeing and determined to help families connect and thrive together.
Ready to
Stop SURVIVING
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Hi, I’m Lauren. A conscious, Libran solo Mumma of two blessings, a son and daughter. I’m all about using Holistic Feng Shui & natural solutions to find a balance. I’m passionate about self-care and wellbeing and determined to help families connect and thrive together.
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